The Cat Doctor

OK so people want to know what is happening with Brad and housesitting for two cats. These two are outdoor cats, they come and go as they please and usually they hang outside. When people are hanging out, especially when there is food, they get right in the middle of everything. They are cats.
I'm not a cat person, but these two are pretty decent. The long haired brown one, the one that likes to split for overnight trips and does a lot more wandering than the short haired one recently came down with either a torn third eyelid from a fight, or has a tumor growing on his third eyelid.
So Brad had to figure out how to capture the cat and get it to the vet. When it came in the cat door Sunday night I was tempted to block their cat door exit. I did not because you know that they would pay me back taking a crap somewhere in the house. (They are cats)
Typically when I wake up, the cats are asleep, Jumper the injured one in a window sill, and Kona the slug, either on my bed or on whatever clean clothes he can find to shed on while he sleeps (he is a cat).
So when I got up Monday, there was Jumper snoozing away on the sill. Ha - I have outsmarted him! I blocked off the exit, and got ready to get the cat into the cat carrier. I knew he would NOT like that. He did not. After a little conversation he agreed to go in backwards.
We made it to the vet, him swearing at me nonstop, howling, crying, snarling. Then I had to take him out and hold onto him while the vet uses tweezers on his third eyelid to troubleshoot. You can imagine how that went. Pissed Off Cat.
So now I get to play cat doctor. 4x/day he needs eye drops. 2x/day he needs to swallow a pill. A boy or a dog will swallow a pill by loading it inside something good like cheese or peanut butter. A cat will not. You must capture the cat, hold on while it scratches you and get it to open wide, get the pill in there, gently get the trap shut, and then hang on until it swallows the pill. After a few attempts, the cat will succumb to your stubbornness and swallow it instead of spitting it out. But not without getting a good scratch in as it jumps away. Then I just have to put drops in the eyeball. He shuts the lid tight and refuses to open it to let the drops in. Eventually he opens his eyes to see if I am still there with the evil eye dropper bottle...
Kona the slug gets jealous that Jumper is getting so much attention. So I have to pick him up and pretend to put drops in his eyes too. That makes it better somehow. He is a cat.